Not easy to choose the right mate. Lots of things to think about.
Marriage is a sacred event. Therefore, many things to consider before deciding to get married. Successful marriages are also considered in determining the quality of human resources of the nation.
Not surprisingly, the Singapore government should formulate guidelines to choose a life partner for the younger generation no missteps. One point guide, for example, do not hurry to go to the movies together. That is, for sex during a date not walk ahead of love.
Trouble is, the demographic structure of the world today shows the number, there is less adult men to become life partners women (low sex ratio). The fact that a lot of the Eve of the world feel uneasy if not get a mate. Especially for women who deny women the East berkultur more active role in socializing and looking for a life partner.
WHY CHOOSE WRONG?
One of choosing a life partner often begins too quickly decided that he was the "Mr. Right".
Less mature mate choice largely because of the age when to start dating too young, lively semati appointment was decided when the age is not mature enough, and the courtship of the selected model type too permissive and speeding.
If so, when in fact someone is worth dating?
Biologically and soul, a new woman mature after the age of 24 years. If it is assumed at the age of 24 years are allowed to get married, dating should have been allowed to take place before uisa it. But when?
Statistics mention psychology, dating should not be too long. Ideally around two years. Longer than that risky end, whereas if shorter, probably not yet ripe enough. For most teenagers, this decision is considered conservative. The majority of teenagers are like going out early again.
Pattern of teenage girls hanging out now, the man who had several times to meet and hang out already decided as a boyfriend. That means no more chance to make friends with another man to enter the circle of our association. Proverbial, they were like frogs in the shell. As if no other man who is more ideal than the him.
As a result, many marriages ended with remorse, why had voted for him, if he knew now was to find a more ideal candidate. This becomes a problem because the choice was not necessarily highly selective. Styles and patterns of teen slang is now a more permissive than the culture of his people, naturally have an impact also on the model adopted courtship. As a result, sex walking ahead of love. Therefore, a versatile travel permissive in the dating process, a result which was once the shoots grow more sex than love.
Expand association
Mate choice decisions are often unconsciously driven by considerations of sex, not love. In fact, love is not mere emotion and sensation.
Love now been considered and should be treated as something that is mathematically, something that could dinalar.
Harold Bessel, PhD, a psychologist who studied a lot about love found, love is contained in three main elements, namely romantic attractrion, intimacy, and commitment. In the figure of love, sex position is only part of romantic attraction, only a small component of love. However, modern teen dating model making element of sex into everything, because all permisifnya in the mix. Considered old-fashioned courtship that only hold a mere hand-grip.
Healthy Dating should not be one who is worthy choices (ideally) be a boyfriend. We know what's stored in our brains called the "love map." That every person record in his mind, the figures of the opposite sex as how that was a very ideal. And it becomes a filter tool in determining the choice who will be the special friends in the mix.
However, because the ideal figure just is not fitting as a boyfriend would guarantee, no need to immediately decide to direct a girlfriend. Need to mingle once more extensive, more, more open to all of the opposite sex without the need to be special friends.
Thus will remain open probability of obtaining a sample that is more suitable candidate for a boyfriend, rather than just met once and felt that the ideal type, then immediately ran into a girlfriend that he was the right candidate. Please note, the boyfriend does not have eternal, and may at any time and valid only for end, than sorry was forced to marry the wrong person ('Mr. Wrong').
However, courtship model most often nurtured elements of a modern teenage sex. Just met a week already kissing, petting a month, more than that after a long time already reached the genital organs. Dating modern teen models often become preoccupied only on matters of sex and forget the rest. And this is the beginning of a life partner was miscast.
WAKE intimacy
Another thing that adds to a risk of one select a life partner, when the courtship process that should be more talk and less work, done through the opposite: less talk and a lot of work.
We need to keep remembering that the concept of love in Harold's true love takes 3 elements, and one of intimacy.
That needs to be built to take the process of intimacy during courtship. That is necessary to know each other, adapt, accommodate oneself between two persons of the two backgrounds are not the same. Of the two differences, there woke up tolerance, and instead demanded a change that you have to be me, and I'm into you, but to be healthy, you and I into a compound called "we."
In order to take the process run smoothly and achieve intimacy ideal outcome, a date should not be pestered by the element of sex. Sex can give biased results, which seemed appropriate to outwit. In fact, it's really probably only matched and matched.
If the process of intimacy was not fit, do not fit, many mismatches, and tolerance does not go wake up, do not hesitate to not proceed. Thus, in order not to stop seeing weight, build a more dignified courtship model, which is not too fast, that's perfectly natural. Role to build a more graceful courtship is actually much determined by the female. Why?
Not easy for any party to be brave men, including her sexuality in the attitude towards women, if the woman is more dignified not easy and cheap. Skill women limit themselves, and dare to say no, to reject, to guard against not just left unharmed sex by a date, determine the quality of the process of intimacy, or a healthy dating purposes.
The more strict guard is not just any kiss, hug any, any hold-hold, it will be offered an opportunity for love to blossom bud honestly, not a rag, or pretend to love the sheer. That sex actually be seated as the flower of love, and not the beginning of love. The threat that came from the men in dating, often reads, "If you really love, prove to give up everything for me." The more firmly maintain chastity, the more authoritative a woman as a girl impersonal sublime.
That the boyfriend who ran away, which states drop out, after not given what's required, actually can be used as test cases, test forms, whether he is a man loyal to the sheer love or sex hunter. Men who keep true love will not withdraw even if not given sex. The man who declared broken if not given the sex, it's not a man with true love.
Sex for love does not run ahead, avoid entering the dangerous opportunities that give the possibility of sex impromptu events, like sitting in the car alone at night, was in seclusion together, watch a movie together (as a grain of Singapore's government guidelines for the bachelor .) If women are easily trapped in the lure of sex, be more difficult to dodge to say no.
THROUGH MAY NOT LIMIT
Legal sex for women "the point of no return". What is it?
In a surge of sexuality, female sexuality has a disposition physiology, will be the arrival at a given point in time perfectly resigned to the seconds of libido has been at the top. Once it passes the point of peak libido, which should not happen, will happen as well. To be the point where she would be late and was unable to retreat again, then going out should not be too far.
Long before the fall, the women still have a brake that is more grip than the physiology of sexuality partner. The woman who was actually more able to control if the courtship began go much faster. And the women also who knows exactly when to brake sex should really stepped demolished, before the 'accident' sex occurred.
Problems arise if the marriage is built upon the accident of sex. Statistics show that marriage is 'an accident sex' marriage is generally not selanggeng carefully decided. Marriage 'accident sex' is generally the result of a decision that is still raw, the age and maturity of the process date. That means that the risk for divorce, marriage is much larger than normal.
Harold created a questionnaire to assess whether a happy marriage. Apparently Romantic score Atrraction (RAQ) couples happy marriage is higher than the marriage failed. This is evidence that the process compatibility in a marriage, which is determined by the quality of intimacy process, determining the happiness of marriage.
Do not we often hear a lot of celebrity marriages that end in the middle of the road, on the grounds there is no longer matches? One proof that love it (if it exists), it was not enough. (Tabloid Nova)
